Big-Boned and Big Bracelets

I fell in love with this dress at Target last week while attempting to find pants for work. It was a difficult color to capture because it's sort of a grey denim and looks silver in most of the photos. I wore it pretty basic for the first wearing but I can see all kinds of possibilities for layering, belts, scarves, etc. I had on a fuscia tee underneath that unfortunately didn't show up in any of the photos.

I know chunky bracelets can make someone with chubby arms look even more chunky but I love this bracelet. I'm big boned. No seriously my wrists and ankles, calves, etc. often don't fit in things sized for "normal" women. I don't think I'm some mutant, so sizing must be really wonky, but I do think there is something to the "big-boned" thing. While I want to be healthy and as active as my arthritis will let me, I really don't think I was meant to be a 95 lb. tiny woman no matter what. It's just not in the genetic cards.

My dad said his high school football coach saw his mom (my grandma) and exclaimed, "I wish you were built like your mother." Yes, and this is the grandma I resemble according to my mom. So genetics and all that . . . I think I can fight my genetic tendency towards obesity, but will never be super skinny.  But really, I'm O.K. with big-boned as long as I'm healthy. Now how did I get all that from a bracelet? It seriously must be bedtime!

Why I'm Boycotting My Post-Christmas Weigh-in

I was headed to the scale to assess the damage done by holiday eating. Just before stepping onto the scale, I stopped. Nope, not gonna do it! I know what it takes to get back to eating my normal diet and I know I’ll get back to my pre-holiday weight.  The two weeks surrounding Christmas was a crazy time of eating crap! Generally I avoid white flour like the plague, but all the sudden it was my best friend again. Maybe it was staying in a condo with family and having relatives continually offering pies, cakes and cookies. Life is back to normal now and I’m afraid if I weigh, I’ll freak out, get depressed and try to be extreme. I know from past experience if I just go back to normal eating and maybe tighten it up a little, I’ll return to normal.

I’d love to lose 30 more pounds down from what has become my normal weight because, according to my BMI, I’m just barely in the obese range (not that I trust BMI anyway).  At this time in my life, I just don’t feel capable of tightening up my eating enough to do that, but I have reached a point where I’m longer gaining or out of control. I’m in a maintenance mode, but right now that feels pretty good.

Last year when I did Thrive Weight Loss *(www.thriveweightloss.com) and when I did Weight Watchers two years ago I weighed myself daily, maybe even more often. At the time it served a purpose because I was learning how different foods and eating habits affected me.  However, it’s so easy to cross over to obsession that I’m avoiding that right now.

I’ve never had an eating disorder unless you include gaining 20 lbs. due to eating for comfort following my divorce. But I consider that a time-limited thing. Up until the divorce I had generally stayed at a healthy weight. However, just prior to starting Thrive, I had begun seeing food as the enemy, something I had never, ever experienced before.  Suddenly I was pissed off at the world, myself and food in general. The world seemed a profoundly unfair and cruel place. Now I no longer see food as an enemy, but as fuel.  I understand better what makes me gain or lose and what foods make me feel energetic or lethargic.  I’m not following any eating plan perfectly but I’m eating healthier than I ever have in my life. Then this fall I began to read some body image sites that filled in some of the missing pieces for me about loving myself no matter what my size. At some point I’m sure I will weigh again, but right now it really serves no purpose. Right now I'm more interested in loving myself than in pursuing perfection. Anybody else go through phases like that about weighing?  I know I can’t be the only one!

*I’m not affiliated with Thrive Weight Loss at all—just a satisfied customer. And it’s a local Georgia company which I think is really cool! 

I just ate cookies!

Last Christmas I was still following a "lifestyle change" that was "not a diet". O.K. my thinking is that whenever someone is telling me what to eat and what not to eat, that is a diet, but that's another story. I had way more success on this particular plan than any others and actually felt better. So I'm truly not complaining, but lets call a spade a spade. Anyway, my point is that last year I cut out my favorite Christmas tradition of making and decorating cookies with the kids. At that point I didn't think I could make them and eat them in moderation. I don't regret that decision, but this year I decided to just enjoy the cookies. I lost 15 lbs. total and learned a whole lot about how different foods affect me. Right now due to scheduling and stress, I'm just maintaining and for right now that's O.K. 

The plan allows for periodic indulging rather than banning junk food altogether forever. However, now that I ate a plate full and totally feel like crap, I remembered that eating junk makes me feel bad. That was the main valuable lesson I learned while on that diet. That knowledge keeps me mostly eating healthy. So in a way I guess it is a lifestyle change now that I'm self-motivated. Still don't B.S. me and tell me it's not a diet. 

Sunday's Outfit

 Playing weekend catch-up. Here's the fun red thrifted jacket and striped shirt I wore Sunday. My church is pretty casual and anything goes from jeans to your nicest outfits. So it's fun to wear whatever suits my mood.

As for my continuing quest for better fit, there goes that darn sagging crotch again on another pair of pants. I really had no idea that so many of my clothes need altering. In the last 2 years my hubby and I have lost weight and had some fluctuations up and down since then. It seems like my body changes shape subtly every few months now that I'm past 40. Fun! I think I either need to learn to sew or make good friends with a tailor!