Sunday, January 8, 2012

Why I'm Boycotting My Post-Christmas Weigh-in

I was headed to the scale to assess the damage done by holiday eating. Just before stepping onto the scale, I stopped. Nope, not gonna do it! I know what it takes to get back to eating my normal diet and I know I’ll get back to my pre-holiday weight.  The two weeks surrounding Christmas was a crazy time of eating crap! Generally I avoid white flour like the plague, but all the sudden it was my best friend again. Maybe it was staying in a condo with family and having relatives continually offering pies, cakes and cookies. Life is back to normal now and I’m afraid if I weigh, I’ll freak out, get depressed and try to be extreme. I know from past experience if I just go back to normal eating and maybe tighten it up a little, I’ll return to normal.

I’d love to lose 30 more pounds down from what has become my normal weight because, according to my BMI, I’m just barely in the obese range (not that I trust BMI anyway).  At this time in my life, I just don’t feel capable of tightening up my eating enough to do that, but I have reached a point where I’m longer gaining or out of control. I’m in a maintenance mode, but right now that feels pretty good.
Last year when I did Thrive Weight Loss *( and when I did Weight Watchers two years ago I weighed myself daily, maybe even more often. At the time it served a purpose because I was learning how different foods and eating habits affected me.  However, it’s so easy to cross over to obsession that I’m avoiding that right now.

I’ve never had an eating disorder unless you include gaining 20 lbs. due to eating for comfort following my divorce. But I consider that a time-limited thing. Up until the divorce I had generally stayed at a healthy weight. However, just prior to starting Thrive, I had begun seeing food as the enemy, something I had never, ever experienced before.  Suddenly I was pissed off at the world, myself and food in general. The world seemed a profoundly unfair and cruel place. Now I no longer see food as an enemy, but as fuel.  I understand better what makes me gain or lose and what foods make me feel energetic or lethargic.  I’m not following any eating plan perfectly but I’m eating healthier than I ever have in my life. Then this fall I began to read some body image sites that filled in some of the missing pieces for me about loving myself no matter what my size. At some point I’m sure I will weigh again, but right now it really serves no purpose. Right now I'm more interested in loving myself than in pursuing perfection. Anybody else go through phases like that about weighing?  I know I can’t be the only one!

*I’m not affiliated with Thrive Weight Loss at all—just a satisfied customer. And it’s a local Georgia company which I think is really cool! 

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