Monday, April 16, 2012

A Little Ray of Sunshine

The print on this dress has some yellow in it and I had been on the lookout for a yellow tee or sweater to play it up. I've played up the black and the red in the print before, but my wardrobe doesn't contain much yellow. So this weekend I stocked up on some basic tees, including this little yellow ray of sunshine.

Does Fear Decrease After 40?
Until recently I never would have thought to have this tee, red belt and black shoes but I'm tired of living in fear. Wardrobe fear is limiting just like other fears that sometimes hold me captive. When I was 25 I thought the exciting parts of my life would be over at 40. Totally the opposite! There's something about something about turning 40 that is freeing for women and makes us think, "Well, why not?"

At 25 I was in a domestic violence situation with a man putting me down every day telling me I was worthless. I was desperately trying to get started in my career in a job that was totally wrong for me to my very core. In fact, I blame job stress for developing RA rather than the man, although he did forbid me to leave that job unless I could find a higher paying one. So in a way it is his fault. . . as much as it can be someone else's fault. I wore clothing he O.K.'d, not that I had any sense of style then anyway!

How different things are now. Still, I sometimes find myself battling fear and indecision. My husband thinks I can do anything and can't believe how much I let anxiety immobilize me.  He sometimes teases me about changing my name to "what if". All that thinking and worrying is really tiring and doesn't get you anywhere. This is the year I've decided fear is for the birds. I'm stepping out and taking risks even if it means making some mistakes. Clothing is just one small area but it contributes to the feeling of confidence in ways I never expected.  How about you? Does clothing sometimes have deeper meaning for you?

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